I turned 30 two weeks ago. I’m not sure I feel much different, but I will say my birthday month was one of the hardest months I’ve experienced this year.

I was caught off guard and forced to embrace the unexpected—to roll with the punches and figure things out, like I usually do. But two weeks later, I woke up this morning embracing a slow start. I took a hot shower with jazz music playing, completed my skincare routine, and moisturized my entire body afterward. The goal was simple: feel good. And I did.

That feeling prompted me to jot down a few reflections on what 30 looks like through my lens—no particular order, just truth and context.

1. Intentionally calming my nervous system
After a trying day, I poured back into myself with jazz music playing in the background, one of my favorite candles lit (a gift from my aunt). I’ve learned that small rituals like this ground me when things feel overwhelming.

2. Not overextending myself for things I don’t actually want to do
I have a habit of “saving face” instead of standing confidently in my no. I’m learning that stillness and honesty are stronger than people-pleasing.

3. Knowing when to pull back and let things play out
You’re not always missing out. Sometimes what feels like a setback is divine protection you just can’t see yet. Trust your discernment and be okay playing the background.

4. Saying less and observing more
I’m naturally talkative, so when I’m quiet people assume something’s wrong—and often, they’re right. But I’m learning that silence allows people to reveal themselves without me saying a word.

5. Protecting my peace, even if it makes me the villain in someone else’s story
Wolves don’t always look like wolves. You don’t owe everyone your side of the story. Most people aren’t looking to help, they’re actually looking for gossip.

6. Saying no as a full sentence—and meaning it
No. Period. It requires no explanation. Honor it and move on.

7. Trusting my gut, no matter how flashy something looks
I’ve longed to belong to certain spaces and networks, and sometimes I still do. But everything that shines isn’t gold. If something feels off as a freelancer or outsider, it likely won’t change once you’re “inside.” We’re too grown for passive aggression and bait-and-switch behavior.

8. Remembering that I am enough, exactly as I am
I am a powerhouse. A force. Someone known for always being on her A-game. God didn’t create me to be average, and I need to move accordingly.

9. Accepting that age doesn’t always equal maturity
Some adults act like teenagers…or worse, toddlers. Let them. Don’t internalize what doesn’t belong to you. Leave it right where it is.

10. Having hard conversations instead of avoiding them
This one is a work in progress. I know production. I know storytelling. Now I’m honing the craft of negotiation, talking numbers comfortably and standing firmly in my worth.

11. Believing I’m more than capable
My favorite verse will always be Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I wouldn’t be given these opportunities if God didn’t see me as fit. Imposter syndrome, be gone!

12. Trying not to take everything personally
Audacity is at an all-time high, but with practice and time, I’ll get better at letting things roll off my back.

13. Praying more and strengthening my relationship with God
Leaning on God through prayer is something I want to deepen this decade. He’s carried me through 30 years, and that’s something I will never forget.

14. Going outside and being open to meeting new people
Remember Drake’s “No New Friends”? Yeah… no. People change. You outgrow some relationships to make space for new alignment. Change is necessary.

15. Being open to dating—even if they don’t check every box (sigh)
I can’t wait to meet my husband. I know he’ll find me this decade, he has to. As someone who is comfortably well-off by the grace of God, it’s okay to want a partner who matches what I already bring. Money, respect, and family values matter to me. And let’s be honest—a broke man is often an angry man. I’ve seen it. Whew.

Those already in their 30s, what are some other things to look out for?