Learning Patience – The Natural Way
Hey everyone, I am finally back! I know it’s been a while, but I’m here to update you all on a couple changes I’ve gone/am going through. So, I graduated from Hampton University last May (2017), and it was a truly pivotal point in my life. What I’m about to say may not seem like a big thing, but it felt pretty major for me, LOL.
I’ve been an avid weave wearer since 7th grade. Let’s do the math, that’s 11 years… 11 years of masking my kinky coily hair, applying excessive heat to get it straight because I didn’t have a perm at the time, AND my hair slowly but for sure falling out. Of course, this only made me want to hide it even more, LOL.
Fast forward to high school. I began researching the best hair companies and came across, Belladreamhair. They had some good quality hair, but they were hella expensive. None the less, I was like “look Ma, I gotta get this hair. It’s high-grade quality, and you can reuse it.” I finally convinced her, and she handed over her card. I was like Yassssss, I’m bout’ to be on fleeeek, no more Yaky! LOL. When my bundles finally arrived, they felt super soft, and I couldn’t wait to put em’ in. THIS was the start of an addiction. Many pose addiction to negative things like sex, drugs, and alcohol, but Merriam-Webster dictionary defines addiction as “compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance…” I. WAS. ADDICTED. TO. WEAVE. Saying the sh*t is kinda funny now, but damn. I REALLLLLY loved my bundles. A part of me wants to put the blame on society (but I won’t because I’m my own person) but growing up, I never really saw women with their natural hair. They either had braids or weave. Or, if they did have their natural hair out, it was chemically processed to be straight (perm).
But then something else finally became trendy. I saw more and more African American women wearing their natural hair (perm-free) and protective styles. At first, I personally felt like NO WAY, I could never. I hated the texture of my kinky coils, the shrinkage, and just everything. So I still continued to wear my weave, but I very much envied those who freely wore the crown God gave them, while I hid mine. The part that I would flat-iron every day to match the texture of my weave was so damaged it didn’t even curl anymore… but you’d think this would stop me, right? Ha, NOPE. I’d apply a few squirts of heat protectant spray thinking it’d do something, and still fry (you could hear it sizzle) SMH. It’s crazy to think about it now. My hair looked good but I knew it wasn’t healthy.
June 2017 – my Pivotal Point
Sooooooo, I graduated from Hampton University and moved back to New York. Now that I was home, and had some free time before my internship began, I had a lot of thinking to do. At the end of the month, I finally said f*ck it, took out my weave and cut out alllll my dead ends. It was unbelievable to see how much damage I had done to my hair over the years. Sad was an understatement. But you know what? It was something I had to do. I began doing some research and learning more about my hair type (4c). I studied youtube videos, tried DIY products and store-bought products to see what my hair would best respond to. What worked for someone else’s hair, may not have worked for mine, so I quickly learned it was a process of trial and error. In the meantime, braids became my bestie for the entire summer. I took moisturizing my scalp VERY seriously and would switch the style up every month or so, to keep from getting bored
In September 2017, I invested in my first wig. Das my boo thang, you would never know she’s detachable. Whenever I miss weave, I just switch it up. She looks just like my old hairstyles, so it’s a win-win situation, LOL. Thank God for social media, this is a custom unit made by @out.on.parole using Johann’s Virgin Hair Brazilian straight 12″ (2 bundles) with a closure. At first, I use to be so against wigs and closures, but then I found Tommoi on Instagram, and honnnney…. she can slay some wigs. Whenever I tell people it’s a wig, they’re always so shocked, LOL. I paid about $500 in total (bought hair separate + Tommoi’s fee to make it), which seems pricey but IDC, I care too much about my appearance to be out here looking like anything.
Along with ditching the weave, I began wearing lesser makeup, to basically none (eyebrows, occasionally). Maybe I’m just lazy, but I don’t feel like I need it. My skin has always been pretty smooth. Anywho, I can’t even express how happy I finally am. Hampton had me feeling like I was in competition every day, even days I would just wanna chill. I’d wake up an hour early just to look good af FOR CLASS, LOL. Pick out my most fly fit, with my cutest heels to strut around campus. My feet would hurt like hell at the end of the day, but I still pushed through.
2017-2018
It’s almost been an entire year that I’ve been 100% natural, (the most heat I’ve used is from a blow dryer, and it’s always with heat protectant spray and VERY minimal heat). My hair has flourished sooo much. Check out my before pic to the left. This picture was taken on Thanksgiving, November 2017. I braided my hair the night before and just wore it out. If you look closely, you can see that the top/front is way shorter than the back. When I wore weave, this portion experienced the most damage. It looked weird because it was super uneven, so I pinned the front up. I remember feeling so free and happy because I was finally beginning to understand my hair.
This photo was taken in May 2018, about 6 months after the photo above. My crown is flourishing, y’all. I have really thick hair and I finally feel comfortable wearing it out. Little things like being able to scratch my scalp when I wanna, instead of hitting my head LOL (my weave wearers will understand), and simply being able to showcase what God gave me, makes it all worthwhile. I still have a long way to go, but just the thought of progression has me so excited!
Products I’ve been using:
Jamaican Black Castor Oil: IMPORTANT, if you’re going to use JBC, make sure to use the stinky kind. The one that smells like ash! The others (like Jamaican Mango & Lime) aren’t as effective because they’re mixed with other sh*t. The brand I use faithfully is called Tropical Isle Living. It can be found at your local beauty supply store, or online. I pour it into a bottle with a funnel tip and apply to my scalp every day. I find using this most efficient when I’m wearing protective styles like braids, twists, etc because I don’t really touch/pull my hair. Do your own research, and GET CHU’ SOME! I promise you will not regret it.
Another bomb hair product company I’ve been using is OrganiGrowHairCo. I found out about them on Instagram and decided to give their line a try after viewing testimonies. They’re 100% VEGAN, and a little on the pricey side, but worth it. They have plenty of bundles, but I decided to purchase the ‘Grow Platinum Bundle’ in Low Porosity (you’ll have to do hair porosity test to see what kind of hair you have). My total was $100 + $5 for shipping/handling. Y’all… I highly recommend these products. I use their ‘Re-Do Pre-Poo’ the night before wash day and wake up to super soft, easy to detangle hair (my 4c girls know how difficult it could be to get your hair feeling soft). I then shampoo with the ‘Grow Poo Clarifying Shampoo’ and follow up with the ‘GrowTein Free Deep Moisture Condish’ conditioner. With the product still in my hair, I use the scalp massager (which feels good af) to massage the conditioner into my roots. Then, I wash out and dry with A T-SHIRT, not a regular towel. Towel drying can cause friction and frizz. When I’m wearing braids, I use the ‘Stimulating Scalp Beverage,’ and ‘Hair Dew’ errrrrr’day.
I really hope y’all decide to try these products and begin taking care of yourself (if you haven’t been already). It took me a while to get here, but diamonds aren’t made overnight. I haven’t reached my full potential, but it’s amazing to know I’m on the right path. Let me know your thoughts and what YOU use to keep your mane healthy, and flourishing. 😉
~ Until next time!
